Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
