We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
