i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize