i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
