FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize