so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Buhtt sex?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
