I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
