Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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