but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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