how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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