Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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