Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
