My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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