You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
