So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
