he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
