so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We're too hungover to prance.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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