Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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