I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I believe in your delicious
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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