Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
