the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
