On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's always time for handjobs
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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