Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
