there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize