I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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