Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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