Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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