is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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