The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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