i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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