Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
