You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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