your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
