we're blogging at a bar
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
