I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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