I CAN MOONWALK!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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