real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
