last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
