Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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