at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
