Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
