im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Too much gin, very little bucket
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
