explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
