When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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