A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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