Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
