we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His nipple licking is glorious
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