I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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