just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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