Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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