I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
