id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I believe in your delicious
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
