Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
