Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
