the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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