I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize