I CAN MOONWALK!
My hand turned me down
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize