I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
