Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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