she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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