i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
