idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
